Thoughts


01Apr

Fuck Everything And Run

False Evidence Appearing Real

Frantic Effort to Avoid Reality

Fucking Exhausting And Relentless

You may have seen these before, you may even have a favorite of your own! I have lived through them all at one time or another and find myself moving in and out of these definitions nearly daily, particularly now…

When I choose to remain alone in my head this is where I’m most likely to venture. Isolation feels sometimes like a warm blankie that I wrap around my depression.

Alone in my storm, inside, preferring not to engage with others and choosing conversations with the demons instead.

Fucking fear, fucking isolation, it is so familiar and so destructive, and yet I can slip into it as easily as a comfortable pair of socks.

Do you?  Do you go there? Do you more now given all that is happening? And if I hear “During these Uncertain Times” one more time I’m gonna… and here it comes the anger, and then the guilt and shame!

I become frozen in isolation and emotion clearly knowing the solution. Connection! Why is it so hard for me to move from the darkness into the light of connection? I suppose I could blame it on my memory, my age or some other bullshit story, however the truth is, I have many shadows that want to run the show, many stories that I have made up or that have been hung on me over the years that have either helped me cope or continue to drive my often unconscious behaviors.

So, what to do? When the pain becomes deep enough, I may reach out for connection, and often, when I need it the most someone in my life reaches out to me!

My invitation to you, knowing clearly I say the things I need to hear the most myself, is to reach out to others. Check in with them and see how they are doing. Let them know you are thinking of them and that you care about them. Make a list, look through your contacts, commit to reaching out to at least five people a day or more until you notice you are leaving the darkness and feeling some sunlight on your soul!

Call me, let me give you a teaspoon or two of my medicine; listening deeply, sharing my experience and my gifts of love and insight. I am here for you, for any of your family and friends to help, if and wherever I can. This is what I do, and it may look like it is altruistic, and there is certainly a measure, however truth be told it is also selfish.

It gets me out of myself, my self-imposed darkness, and into the light. It gives me a connection to you, others and to spirit, my source, the juice, that stuff that I define as love, you know the kind you can’t order online or buy on a street corner! Connection!

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30Dec

As we are quickly approaching the beginning of a new year, I take pause as many of us do, to reflect on this last year and this last decade.

My eyes are filled with tears remembering the losses of many near and dear to me.  Family, friends, those who made a difference in my life and on our planet, those who antagonized, inspired, and those that live in or beyond the fringes of my world.

I look back, I ponder the future. I ask myself the usual questions; What now? What can I do? Can I make a difference? Why me?  Why not me?

I see how many people, lost and living, have truly made a difference in my world and on our planet.

I, we, can make a difference. We must not let ourselves be derailed by what others are doing whom we disagree with. We can however use these experiences as a spark to create change in ourselves, our families, our communities and the world. I need to remember that I’m not in this alone and that together we are stronger.

I must not let my anger turn into rage, my sorrow turn into paralyzing depression, my grief turn into hopelessness, or my mistakes to become shame. I must not let negative beliefs of myself or others move me into a place of isolation and loneliness. I will not be able to contribute if I do.

I do, however, need to remember to ask for help, and to remember how honored I feel when others ask me. I need to be willing to get passed the fear of inconveniencing someone, or that false belief that I am not worthy. I need to recognize that I have an opportunity to honor someone in my life by asking, and in doing so create connection.

The world is a scary place sometimes, and a beautiful place a lot of the time. My hope is that in this next year, this next decade I, we, will make a conscious effort in bringing and delivering the gifts we’ve arrived on this planet with, that we do this consciously and together, with the intention of making  our lives and our world a safer, more sustainable and loving place.





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18Oct

No matter how you slice it, there is an amazing amount of tension in our world at the moment.

Emotionally, spiritually, economically, and politically there may be more tension than ever before, certainly in my lifetime.

I don't want to spend my time discussing politics, and of course it is chiefly responsible for much of this tension. What I would like to talk about is the impact and what people can do as a result. 

I have spent the better part of 15 years discovering a lot about accountability, judgements, and relationships. Check it out.

Accountability:

I am responsible for my words, my behaviors, my actions and their impact on others and myself, intended or unintended.

Judgment:

I grew up in a culture that told me over and over that "You really shouldn't judge people" and " Being judgmental is bad or wrong."

Relationships:

I had a great mentor who stepped into my life the day i was born. He was my Dad's best friend. He reminded me endlessly; "Relationships are Everything!" and he was absolutely right. This has proved itself my entire life.

Over the next few weeks I would like to begin unpacking these topics and take a closer look.

In the meantime, what can be done? We can show up in our lives today with compassion. Look around and really see what is happening around the world and care! Connect with that part of you inside or outside that guides you and directs you, and send out loving energy to all of the people on our planet, and be sure to save a measure for yourself. Take a moment each day to recognize another human being you share this planet with and send out a smile or a nod. Connection is one of the key ingredients to survival and healing in these uncertain times! 

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21Dec

This is an open forum. I encourage you to respond, agree, disagree, offer feedback or whatever you like. I want this to bring current issues to the fore front for conversations that can ultimately create positive change. To respond simply click "Read More" at the bottom of this post.


One of the hottest topics of our time is the "#Me Too" movement addressing the horrific impacts of men accused of everything from inappropriate sexual behavior, to rape, serial rape and assault have had on their victims.


I am so grateful for all of the courageous women and men who have brought their experiences into the light in this very public way. I can only imagine that fear and intimidation continue to keep many silent. 


This is a time of reckoning. The culture I've been raised in is seriously patriarchal and archaic. Men have given men permission to behave in inappropriate ways by example over the years. We as men have to begin modeling a new way of being. There are many men coming together around the world that are taking a hard look at their behaviors and their impacts. They are starting to undo these culturally imposed behaviors and becoming more accountable. It's a good start that needs to be supported and continued.


I was listening to a couple of friends that are involved in "The Mankind Project", an international men's organization. They were discussing the idea that both men and women have masculine and feminine energies, or character, if you will. They talked about the idea that recognizing and embracing these similarities may allow us all to begin communicating more deeply, by sharing from an open heart instead of from our heads, and begin to really experience how we are impacting one another through our words and actions.


Can you imagine how fulfilling this might be, how genuine heart to heart communication alone could impact our lives? I believe this to be true. I believe people may be more responsive to these new ideas in this evolutionary era. 


Now is the time to begin constructive discussions around behavioral impacts and this old school culture of male dominance in the workplace, at home, and in our society. It is time to let go of these old culturally imposed ways of being and try something new.


Women and Men want to be heard, seen, acknowledged, and loved, we all do. When we take the time to listen, really listen to one another, we begin to become vulnerable. Vulnerability is the medicine for powerful transformation. If I have the courage to become vulnerable with you and get over my fear of being taken advantage of I am more likely to share my truth with you, and as a result, you with me. This is where true healing and transformation begins.


It is time for men and women to recognize each other as equal and worthy of respect. We are all human beings. I am not suggesting that we move from a patriarchal order toward a matriarchal one either. Maybe the world could benefit from a more balanced cultural blend around gender and leadership, or an entirely new culture, "Equiarchal" perhaps.


Consider the hot light that is being shined on these issues as courageous women and men are telling their stories and are finally being heard. Now is the time for us to really listen and acknowledge the oppressive culture and ideals we were taught growing up, and begin to create positve cultural change.


Consider looking at where your cultural experience is having a negative impact on our society. Are you willing to talk about it? Are you willing to become vulnerable and take a chance at having a powerful and lasting impact on our present and future?

 

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